Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Realer and Realer

these babies just seem realer and realer - Liam and his little cousin to be born a week or so after him, Andrea. Liam even has a red sheet on his crib mattress in his own crib and Andrea will have butterflies on her nursery wall. Plans for Liam's naming seem like plans, not dreams - and sometime this winter, we will hold him and kiss him - so sweet. I am still broadsided at moments by waves of sadness about Mira's permanent absence. I wondered last night when it snowed big fat flakes for HOURS if Ruth would have taken almost three month old Mira out into her very first snow. I look up at the menorah which I will soon be bringing down from the high shelf andfeel sad that Ruth and Chris will not be holding Mira in it's light this year - and then I think how Liam, inside RUth, is able to hear and enjoy the holiday usic already. Everything is a mixed bag - AND, AND, AND - and love is stronger than loss.

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