Family meal

Our family meal for Rosh Hoshannah was so happy - great food, great talk, Rtuh looking healthy and pregnant and enjoying her pumpkin pie. It wasn't until afterward, when I was washing dishes, that I remembered that, if all had gone well, we would have had less than a month old Mira at the holiday meal. I forget most days what isn't and focus on what is - and of course, both the loss and the joy are real. Right now the joy sings louder.